With movies such as Split being out and being what most systems know of when they first hear about D.I.D, it’s no wonder some alters feel like they are “bad” alters. Now, disclaimer here; I understand that for some systems there are alters who are bad/problematic/aggressive/etc. I know that not everyone has as good of a community as my system has. I won’t say my system as been with out its fair share of problematic alters, when I got diagnosed three of the six or so alters I knew about were classified as bad alters (in my mind, when I thought we had to have a bad alter- I’ll get into that later). This is just my point of view, no one has to agree. I know every system is different, every alter is different, and every person is different. Feel free to comment your opinions here.
Since I’ve been (basically) parenting my little sister since she was born, I’ve gotten my own ideas about how words and labels can sometimes be something people live up to. Meaning, if you call a kid a brat and they believe it then they’ll feel like that’s all they are and all they should be.
I believe the same thing is true for alters. If I called an alter ‘bad’, then they’d get it in their head that they are ‘bad’ and they’d always seem to be bad. In my mind, if I label something has bad then everything they do will just seem bad- even if they’re just trying to get their needs met or their point across.
This is a long about way of saying that I don’t give anything a “bad” label unless I’m prepared for that thing to live up to being “bad”. That’s why, after I came to learn about my alters more, I didn’t call them bad. Now, two of the three original ‘baddies’ have integrated with another alter on their own free will. That alter has been the most helpful alter in our system so far.
The third, had always been labeled bad in our system. From way before we even knew we were a system. He was exiled to live away from everyone in the system multiple times. He was blamed for things that we now know aren’t his fault. He was demonized for reasons we don’t even remember.
Things have since changed. I was the only alter who had a continued connection with him, and when our outside head world went sour, I was the one who guilted the protectors into letting him inside.
Our therapist has helped me change everyone’s idea about him. He has a very important role in our system, and is very loving despite being a little grumpy.
I’m going to write a part two to this, just to break it up a bit. I have another point I want to make, about a different alter. One who has labeled himself has bad, and who cannot seem to let things go.
P.S the alter talked about in this post is Clarence.