For the past few weeks (a month and a half or so) Kenny has been fronting with minimal help and minimal time away from fronting. He’s been dealing with the kids and gathering them from outside of the terrarium. He’s been helping more with our sister and our mothers needs. He has been doing the therapy sessions. Mostly by himself, with me(Renau) or Elijah has a background carrying the kiddos who are attached to him around so they can be close to him.
Kenny has never liked fronting, he’s always been way too sensitive. He gets wound up and makes people angry, or will assume he’s done something wrong and get anxious. Fronting is not his thing. Co-fronting is though, since we’ve been diagnosed he has co-fronted a lot but enjoys his breaks.
He only took up fronting because our regular hosts (Cloud and Adam) have been having a bit of a hard time in their personal lives. Adam is always default; if no one else can or will front he is out and at the ready. Kyu is our back up host, in times of high stress (our mothers health scare in 2016 for instance) or in times where things really need to get done, but just aren’t. This really isn’t that time. Kyu is also too abrasive for long term hosting, our mom would notice something is up.
Roo has been getting better at fronting for long periods of time, but he and Adam are currently going though a mutual existential crisis. He has agreed to co-host and help me do things like run the shower. He will also front as often as he feel he can (usually once a day). I hope he will help me manage some of the things with our mother, since she is awkward for me to be around.
I and Squall are the only others (who aren’t listed above) with hosting experience. We co-hosted together for a while way back before we got diagnosed (we’ve figured out it was us hosting). Squall is a protector though, and it is very exhausting to have a protector front for longer than a day. Plus, Cloud would want to help him and Cloud needs a major break.
Kenny asked me because not only am I his partner, I also spend lots of time with our kiddo parts as well. I also happen to be a fairly grounded part in terms of who I am and what it feels like for me to front. That makes it easier for Kenny to co-front with out coming out fully and taking over and in turn wearing himself down even more (as is the case with him and Roo).
He asked me because since I’m usually around him it will allow him to spend time with the kids and not have to front- something that is very important to him.
I’m hoping I can do this long term, and I believe I will. At least until Cloud or Adam gets enough gumption to take their positions back!
I will still be posting Roos poetry (and he will still be writing it f course) and I will stick with the at-least-once-per-week blog posts. (Which are going to be on Wednesdays!)
Thanks for reading, have a nice evening!