Things are weird for us when it comes to relating to people. Online is usually fine, because we don’t have to see the other person and if we need to not respond we can. Real life it’s nearly impossible, even when just texting. We always feel so awkward and always have to push the conversations focus onto the other person.
Inside our system it’s a little easier, but as of late we’ve noticed everyone kind of has Kenny has a common point, except when they’re partners. Like a lot of us have never been alone with each other, and since the majority of us are new to the idea of being a system a lot of us haven’t been alone with themselves.
It’s hard getting to know someone while they’re getting to know themselves and I know the person I’m talking about here and listening/watching and I want him to know that I’m not writing this to mock him.
Other than romantic partners, we have family members. Mostly brothers/siblings. Cloud, Sora, and I are all brothers. Kenny, Deirdre, and Levi are brothers. Elijah and Riku. Ren and Adam. I think that’s it really.
Sora is one of the parts who is new to being a system. Everything is new to him, fronting, having free will, etc. He’s been having kind of a hard time finding himself and has had a rocky start since he came around. I won’t get into our system drama, but he’s only now starting to settle into just relaxing and trying to be himself.
I’ve been trying to help him, because my start in this system was just… awful. So, I feel for him that and I love him! He’s my brother!
Thinking back to the time before we knew we were a system shows that we’ve never spent any time with just each other. It’s always had someone else or an entire crowd. It’s not easy to feel like you love someone but you know nothing about them. Even with Cloud I feel like we haven’t spent any time with just each other or just the three of us. Either Kenny is with us, or it’s a group all hanging out. A lot of people have this problem, Kenny is like the glue that holds all our relationships together. Kenny is the common factor.
That’s besides the point right now. Now I want to focus on getting to know Sora and him getting to know himself. I also want this blog to be posted on by more than just me, Ken, Cloud, or Adam. I’m opening it up to be posted on about stuff other than DID and trauma stuff.
Anyway I just needed to rant I guess.
Have a nice night!