We’ve tried in the past to do meetings where we gather the system around and chitchat about how we’re doing and what’s been going on. Last time we did it majorly we tried to make it an every night thing, just to check in. Have everyone say ‘yup I’m good’ and then go back to doing what they were doing.
It didn’t really work out too well.
Mostly because everyone would just say ‘I’m fine’ then leave. We were doing it over text, for our mute alters, and it didn’t really work properly. The whole point was to connect with each other and have meaningful conversations about where we wanted things to go, what needed to be done, if someone was struggling. Having that over text let my alters just say ‘I’m fine’ and it left me no room to judge if they really were fine.
Since that didn’t really work, we kind of gave up. That was around the time we moved to our current house, so maybe 5 or 6 months ago. Recently our therapist suggested trying again. During the holidays we gathered for our own inner system holidays (mainly thanksgiving). We managed to gather everyone into a big space in head world, and we just ate and talked. It was awkward, because we were all going though something at the time (a recent relapse in SH).
When our therapist suggested we try the meetings again, she suggested doing them fully in head world, and not trying over text. Saying that alter may feel more comfortable in the place they spend most their time, and we could get every system member who wanted to show up to show up.
We have a small obsession with notebooks, and since all of us had been to a 4H meeting at one time in our life, we decided to do it that style.
Our head world looks a bit like a summer camp. The summer camp being in our safe inside-outside and not the real outside. There’s an area with horses, gardening, some cows, a thousand dogs everywhere, a small forest and stream. The cabins are set up with one area being the “older” members of the systems cabins (so camp counselors) and the other area being the “newbie” cabins.
Most of the “older” system members cabins are just for their ‘unit’, so it will be 2-4 people in one cabin with a loft for sleeping, bathroom, kitchen, extra room (sewing room, kids room, etc) and a main living room.
My cabin is a lot like the ‘newbies’ cabins, since it’s impossible for me to say no to anyone who wants to live in my cabin. There’s a loft, where people can sleep/enjoy living, three bedrooms, a kitchen, bathroom and living room. Some of the newbies cabins don’t have as many rooms- but they are all set up to hold more than one ‘unit’.
Back to the meetings: much like a summer camp, there is a big rec-room where we all can meet. It’s like a big dining hall, with a bunch of things to do, a stage, and lots of chairs. I figured this would be a great place to hold a meeting.
I gathered everyone up, saying that you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Everyone showed up though!
Trying to make this a weekly thing will bring us together more as a system. A lot of the “newbies” feel as if they aren’t apart of the system, since they weren’t around when we got diagnosed.
I hope we’ll have many meetings to come! Next post will be a over view of what went on in the meeting.
Thanks for reading 🙂